Friday, June 09, 2006

Loss

*sigh*

I don't know where to start.

My good friend and co-worker lost her brother yesterday to a long illness. I sit very close to her at the office and heard her receive the call that her brother's latest surgery went horribly wrong and was on life support. He has a Do Not Resistate order on his chart, but in this case they called my friend to authorize his removal from life support. Poor girl. The last thing she said to me is that it sucks getting old...She's only 15 years my senior.

*sigh*

While on the road last night and saw a family of ducks attempting to cross the hwy a few cars ahead of me. I'll spare the details, but a couple of the chicks didn't make it to the other side.

: (

My husband told me last night he has met someone else. Don't get me wrong here. We've been separated for a year now and have given him my blessing to pursue new relationships months ago. We're still great friends (and I think it will stay that way), but we're so different on many levels. I can't count how many times where I wished he would just find someone else.....find happiness.

I got what I wished for.

*sigh*

I guess I just don't know how I feel about it yet. I mean I am very happy for him on a rational level, but I can't help feeling that sense of loss. Another step closer to the end...not to our relationship, but to the marriage.

Thank god I can run. I came home sad, overwhelmed, and headachy last night, and went on a 3 miler straight away. There's just something about running long distances you can't keep feeling overwhelmed. You have to focus too much on your breathing and body mechanics that all the other crap you're dealing with just falls to the side. When the run is done, you realize that you left all that baggage on the side of the road somewhere.

and where it belongs....

5 Comments:

Blogger jkrunning--Just Keep Running said...

Hugs to you. I wish I had more profound words of wisdom, but sometimes there are none.

4:39 AM  
Blogger runnergirl said...

Oh, poor you! I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's brother!

And about the little chicks.

Also, I'm sorry that you are going through such big life changes. I'm divorced, and I know at times how tough it can be adapting to the changes. But maybe, just maybe, you'll end up better for it.

Thank goodness for the running, huh? It's amazing how you walk out the door full of thoughts about your life struggles, and walk back in the door without them.

Hang in there!

6:36 AM  
Blogger Running Rabbit said...

I know what you mean about that marriage thing...XOXOX to you!

11:54 AM  
Blogger jeanne said...

that's a load of stuff to be dealing with. i'm glad running helps you deal. The ex-husband thing is hard to deal with at first, even if you really are happy for him...it gets easier. hang in there!

10:10 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Wow...you put it perfectly about the baggage being left on the road.

I wish I had of discovered running prior to my divorce. I wouldn't have wasted 3 years smoking and doing other stupid things to my body!

Hug to you. I hope that your week gets better!

5:13 PM  

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